Maybe because you're the smartest guy I know.
Maybe because you're the best writer I've read.
Maybe because you're the best journalist in the country.
Maybe because you're so handsome and attractive.
Maybe because you are great in bed.
Maybe ... I do not know ... But more likely it is because I'm too masochistic.
*** *** ***
Jay is naked, sitting in a chair in front of his laptop. Type and type as a sick obsession. It seems that today is inspired ... I do not always do so after the sex cool neurons.
- You will catch cold. Put something on it. "I say as I settle into bed and rodeo my whole body with the blanket.
He does not respond, still writing like a madman.
- Jay, get at least a shirt and ...
- Can you shut up? "She looks angry.
hides her face on the blanket like a turtle. Jay walks into the closet and put one of my gowns, rummaging through the drawers for a pack of cigarettes and returned to his seat.
- Do not smoke. "I say dramatic voice-at least not in my department smoke, smoke in front of me.
- Putta mother. What the fuck you asshole.
been very angry. It wears off quickly and his laptop, puts it in his bag and leaves without saying anything more.
- Jay ... whisper sad, too sad.
But this is routine. Our routine.
*** *** *** You're a admired by many, a popular and respected man. That is why it is I who is hiding. How would the press and the whole country if they knew you hide a gay lover? More. What would your wife and that shy girl who calls you Daddy?
That is your reality.
I love you so much that even I forget myself. I forget that I too am part of your life, and deserve, at least, respect. But I'm masochistic, or so I believe to be a valid reason that I respond to the fact endure such humiliation in exchange for just sex.
That's my reality.
*** *** *** Today is more quiet than usual, Jay seems to be meditating. After, according to me, "make love", Jay just sat in bed watching the sunrise through the window. He has not said a curse word or vulgar since he arrived, and that's strange and to me says everything that can not face his family, viewers or readers,
- What's the matter? "I rub his back but he remains motionless, Jay, are you okay?
suddenly stands up, letting me see her fully nude body, slim and tan.
- This is the last time. Whispers loud enough to squeeze the heart.
I'm back and going to the bathroom, I hear the shower water fall.
My mind still seems to wander in his words just spoken to my heart even though the first understood. But my mind finally accepts, and fully understand what "this is the last time."
satisfied smile. Finally the end. No more tears and humiliation, no more sex or one-sided love, no more nothing no more.
But Then I left?
*** *** *** I love you so much that even I forget myself. But this is the last time. From now on I will be selfish, now think only of me and I'll hold with me ... even if it costs us our lives.
*** *** *** I can see the beautiful body of Jay, which only belongs to me, moistened by water falling from the shower and blood flowing from his chest. I can see her big eyes, lifeless, pleading for sanity. And his mouth, lips and colorless, treasuring a cry for help that never comes out.
*** *** *** I love you so, I decided to be selfish and keep what belongs to me. Your body, forever, entirely mine.
